I Feel Good.

Hi guys

Hi readers

Hi secret admirers

Hi blogger

I miss you! 

After few months didn't a post in this blog, then yeahhhh, I'm here again. 

Currently:-

1. Alive

2. 4th times admitted at HDOK (sereval times at ER)

3. 2 times went thru the operations.

4. Still manage to go on vacation, yuhuuu.

5. Selamatkan Negara (voted for GE14)

6. Meet Amos 😭😭😭

7. Still miss my Yukiteru ❤

Ok. Lupakan yang tu. So now, Malaysia have new goverment❤. Satu dunia sokong ok. Tiba-tiba rasa proud membuak-buak kembali. Thanks God. Rasa macam ada superhero tiba-tiba datang menyelamatkan gitu. Macam The Avengers pun ada. Haha. Apa pun, I promise will write more about it in my next post, maybe the post after next post, or maybe when I feel like I need to write it😅. You know me. 

Bah, apa-apa pun dari kita seja baito. Mood Kaamatan sudah😍. Oh I should write something in Dusun later on. Bah, tunggu seja lah. 

Msg. I really miss you

Msgg. Do you miss me?

Msggg. Where are you now?

#MoveOn

Hello semua.

Berminggu tanpa blog, rasanya cuma saya seorang saja yang rindu blog ni, dan baca blog ni. HAHA. Well, 1st at all, saya rasa mahu cerita pasal saya yang involved dalam accident last June. I'm ok now, tulang patah bahagian pinggul, tapiiii masih hidup. Dan cuma sebulan rest, saya start back the track, running and dancing. Workaholic! Seperti biasa, dan Move On.

Hidup mesti diteruskan. Peringatan kepada diri sendiri. I will be fine without him in one fine day, soon or later. Cherio MR. S. You deserve better, and you find it. Maybe this is the last post about you, or us. Honestly, you are the best thing happen in my life. I loved you, yes. But thing doesn't happen as we want. The love doesn't strong enough to us. And I glad, when I can see you in  eyes, and say "Hi Simon" without deeply hurt in my heart. One Day. I know. One Day. 

Kadang rasa terkilan, tapi sudah terbiasa. I will miss you. I will. But it means nothing. Thanks for everything. Thanks kerana pernah muncul dan menyayangi diri ini. And to move on without you, is never easy, but I try hard. Don't worry. I will be fine.

Thanks SMern.

Msg ~ Sekuat kaki melangkah, sekuat hati bertahan.

the tiny line

Because between letting go and holding on, there's a tiny line that call LOVE. I can't let go without Love, I can't hold on without Love. I don't even can move on without Love. But 10 years will getting hard, hardly hard. When I found Love in the wrong place. When I even begged for it. When I loose my first love. And when I was tooooo focus becoming "me". And sometimes I forgot the rest that stand by my side, to comfort and LOVE me unconditionally along the journey. I might be drained. I might away, running away from the reality. I might be empty very soon. I might leave everyone that stand by me on the path that I walk by. I might fight a wrong war. But sometime, letting go is the best medicine for forgiveness. Me myself will loose the simple game, but will the win the lifetime lesson. And until these very day, 10 years exact to the day he left, yes, I choose to LOVE, cause if I have LOVE, I have everything, I can forgive, I can letting go, and I can holding on. It's not easy, it's never be easy. But you will find the TINY LINE between it. And if you don't find it, find the courage in JESUS. HE is LOVE.

Karla Andrea's Story

It actually took so much courage to post this...
But for the past 7 years & 7 months, people witnessed the love story that was Gio & Karla. ☺

For almost 8 years, I've only loved one person. He loved me since we were 14 but it took me 2 years to realize that I love him too.

We did a lot of things together. From sneaking out during highschool & lying to our parents that we have to do projects after school so that Gio & I can go to mall -- with only 300 pesos that we saved up from our school allowance. We'd eat in food courts & share one iced tea. But it didn't matter actually because we were happy.

Until we've reached college and we had to go to different schools. But I was very confident that we'd survive it... because we love each other. And we actually did. 😊 He was one of my motivations to finish school. Because I want a bright future with him. He would pick me up in school, he would help me with my projects, he would take me out to eat after a hectic day. He was all I see as I march during my graduation. And I can finally say, we made it. ☺

Months have passed & we both got employed. This was the time that we were able to do a lot of things. 300 peso pocket money became thousands, food courts became fancy restaurants, window shopping became real shopping, jeepneys became taxi, malls became out of town & even out of the country. He was there when my dad passed away. I was there for him when his mom passed away too. Through happiness & pain, we got each other's back.
I experienced a lot of things because of him. Because he was there. He'd do everything to make me happy.

We were the ideal couple. We do everything together. I can't even see myself loving somebody else. Because I already found my soulmate when I was still in St. John's Academy's green jumper, my black leather shoes with white socks & my backpack. My future was him. He was the person I want to see at the end of the altar.

I loved the relationship we had.
But it has come to an end.

To Gio, to the love of my life. To my constant companion, travel buddy, my shock absorber, the answer to my every whys. We've reached the end of the tunnel and it's time to part ways.
Thank you for holding my hand during the journey. It was a worth while journey. A journey i will forever treasure in my heart.
I sincerely pray for your happiness, even if that happiness doesn't include me anymore. ☺ I hope you reach your dreams. I may not be able to witness it anymore, but know that I will be cheering you from afar. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to love again. And I do too. I don't regret ever loving you. Loving you was one of the best decisions I've ever made. One day, I know we'll cross paths again. One day I can look at you in the eyes & I won't feel hurt anymore. One day, we'll talk about how much we've loved each other and that helped us love another person. You will always have a special place in my heart. And let's believe in love again. It's okay. We will be okay. One day i believe we can be friends again.

To my family, mom & ate, my friends, you know who you are. THANK YOU. I wouldn't be able to survive this if you guys are not there to pick up the pieces.

To those who believed in us salamat. But this is going to be my last post about Gio. About us.

To moving forward. :)

© Karla Andrea



Msg: i feel you dear
Msgg: I move on too
Msggg: best ever things happen in my life
Msgggg: keep going on
Msggggg: love is on the air
Msgggggg: i love my husband now

I'm Drained

It's been 3 years, 7 months, 21 days since my  marriage day. Yes, I'm Survived :).

Thanks GOD for the moments. It's not easy, especially when people asked about Baby.

Honestly, I really want a baby. Pls GOD. Will you?

When people said, like this and that. Eat this medicine and that herbs. Go to that hospital and bla bla bla. Lost your weight so whatsoeva! They don't even ask about my feeling. I don't even eat my food for few days, cause I worried I'll get some fat! Took a lot of medicines. Reviews. And I don't lie when I said, I cried everytime I back from hospital. Trust me, It's not easy. 

It's not easy when you cried yourself to sleep alone everynight.

It's not easy when you watch your friend's kids running around.

It's not easy.

Now, I'm getting drain. Slowly. And slowly. 

msg. I might be empty soon

msgg. I might be alone forever.

msggg. I'm drained.

Happy New Season, Ivy

It's March already Ivy!!

It's time to move on. Banyak hal yang jadi beberapa bulan ni, aku move on, dia move on, mereka move on, si dia move on, jiran sebelah move on, kucing aku move on. Well, semua move on. 

But, bila fikir balik, Am I really move on? Bila dengar lagu Nickelback, If Today Was Your Last Day!.

Pejam mata, esok tidak mungkin akan bangun lagi. Am I forgiving now?

I want to mention someone name here, Tressie from LD. I said a very bad thing to her many years before. I don't even want to apologize, cause I thought 'this is her fault'. Dan sebab ego aku tinggi menggunung, I let the anger stay inside, until last week. Aku kumpul semua kekuatan manusia aku, damn!, I failed. So I asked God for the strength, and I sent a msg to her, told her that I'm sorry. For me, it's a big step. I cried, loudly. I won't live with anger in my heart. The hatred! The painful! The unwanted feeling!

I start to make a new step for a new path. God have mercy on me!

So, I will come back soon. I promise.

24 Years and Counting

Wonder If I Gave An Oreo
Would You Sing With Me?
We could share some sweet melodies
And sing in harmony
Let’s forget our area codes
The way we speak
Or how we wear our clothes
It doesn’t matter to me
Just like a song
Music knows no boundaries
No colouring books or family trees
So won’t you sing along

Wonder If I Gave An Oreo
Would You Sing With Me
No broken promises
Countless ways that never end or fun
So take one

Pink or green
Doesn’t matter what your scene is
Sing along Oh…

Like a smile
So much wonder in between
So sing along

Wonder if I gave an Oreo
would you sing with me?

We could share
Or write our stories
Filled with future dreams

Wonder if I gave an Oreo
Would you sing with me



Happy Birthday Mr Anime😘

Msg ~~ Wonder if you ever read my post😐

#Forgiveness

What if today is my last day?

And what if I will never ever have a chance to ask for forgiveness or forgive someone?

I was like wondering about this matter for months.

And I cried, every-time I think about it.

Ya, jangan lupa saya manusia biasa yang punya perasaan marah, kecewa dan putus asa.

But when I think about it, and everyone that left me without words, R.I.P dear souls, I was, like, God what happen if I die without a word. What if I don't release my forgiveness, when someone really need it? I tried. I try to forgive everyone. I badly want to do so. But I have no strength. I don't even can't say a word.

But today, I gather all the strength to start an action. I started write a msg to someone, told them that I forgive them. I know, it's sound silly. But believe me, I really need it!. I hurt many times, I tried to suicide years before. Now, I have to MOVE ON. But first, I have to forgive everyone, I mean EVERYONE. For the one who never stay, for the one who never love, for the one who never forgive, for the one who never care, for the one who never support, for the one who left, for the one who took what's mine, for the one who come and go, for the one who did it for fun, for the one who take me for granted, for the one who never listen, for the one who want to keep me but never love me, for the one who never call, for the one that lie to me, FOR THE ONE THAT CHOOSE TO IGNORE ME.

I also ask for forgiveness, afterall I just a girl, human being, who did a lot of sin. Forgive me if I forget to care, forgive me if I forget to care, forgive me if I say a harsh word to you, forgive me if I didn't listen to you, forgive me if I beg for a stupid reason, forgive me if I choose someone or something over you, forgive me if I not loyal to you, forgive me if I forget to say thank you, forgive me if I forget your name, forgive me if I took you for granted, forgive me if I didn't LOVE you enough, and forgive me if I LEFT YOU behind.

Believe me, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Dear readers, forgive me if I wrote a stupid post.

msg ~ I try hard to MOVE ON.

C A T U R D A Y Y

I'm not in a good mood. Don't ask. 

But It's good to be home, with kitties! Caturdayyy! 

Today, Mimi and Bodeng became my babies. Kena manja dan kena cium ketat-ketat.  I love cat so much, now yesh, about 3 years ody. And will continue to love them! 

I love dog also but maybe 1 day. 

I'm watching NCIS, do you know how much I love this series? I'm in love with the characters, so much I can tell. 

And I think, my Bodeng also loves it. Ahaks.

I'm bored, a bit. Just watched TV all day, read comics. No msg😭. Because he still at Kampung, and I miss him so much. 

And pls do msg me soon. 

I'm starving. Yes, starving. I haven't taken my food. And not really want to eat rice. I just ate biscuits and ramen. Haha. So me. 

So because today is Caturdayy, so I wish everyone that love cat have a good Caturdayy. 

Cause when the Sabbath day comes to the end, we have to work hard again! 

Anyway, H A V E A N I C E A N D S A F E D A Y!

Love is in the air!

Msg ~ I'm in love, but nobody cares... 

Because sometimes, 'A' stand for Aldous.

Yay. Teda kaitan. Tapi since I got necklace dengan buah rantai 'A', dan selalu orang refer kepada Mr Anime. Ya, memang betul lah tu. Mr. Anime tu siapa, sila cari anime dengan tajuk Mirai Nikki. XOXO.

Dan bila someone dalam hidup kau ada nama yang unik, dan bertahun-tahun kau pronounce it wrong, haha. And finally, yeah, after yearsssssss, you got it right. *Clap* *Clap*

Dan hari ni, saya dengan mood yang cantik, tarikh 08/09/2016, jam 3.33PM, ingin mengumumkan, saya penat. Dan lapar. Syukur makcik bibik sudah masak bubur, dan saya makan sekali dengan durian merah. TAPI, disebabkan saya HIGH with Caffeine! I vomited everything. Sayang sekali. *sambil dengar cerita makcik bibik, terasa seperti crita sinetron*  

I slept for 30 minutes, saya rasa. But I really enjoy the mood, terasa dari Darjah Satu Aku Suka Kamu! Disebabkan masih terasa mood Cinta Millennium, rasa nya 16 tahun sudah berlalu. Ok fine. Tapi kalau kau masih in the mood, who cares. 

Now, saya sepatut submit maklumat company, tapi sebab abam MPOB lambat reply msg, rasa macam malas mau update, selain dari blog ini. HAHA

I learnt something new today actually. Kenal someone lebih dari 15 tahun, masih banyakkkkk story dia kita tidak tahu. Dan masih jauh untuk menghakimi. Well, I grow up.

Rasa macam saya cuma membebel jak dalam post ni. Walaupun tiada kaitan dengan tajuk, well pls enjoy it. Mau tulis panjang-panjang, tapi yang pendek ni pun belum tentu kena baca. 

Kepada Mr. Anime, bravo for your first flight! 

Msg ~ rasa high melampau-lampau!

        ~ rasa kena abadikan tarikh ini, sekali sekala buat tarikh baru. haha

        ~ rasa blog dengan laptop terasa kurang dengan emoji!

       

The Dinozzo

Good Bye Dinozzo...

Do guys remember my last year post title "as promise... Yes", I wrote a line about Dinozzo. That time I really hope that he will never be replace until the series end. But, so long my casanova man! Yesterday was his last episode 😭😭 . And thanks to the writer, I cried, again.
Sometimes we had to say goodbye to the one that we love. Death or alive. I lost my good friend last month. He fell, and leave us. No proper goodbye just a msg saying that he needs a "MC" on the day we supposed to go. He never fails to say hello to me every time he meets me. Last Monday supposed to be his 30th birthday. Honestly, I still cry every time I remember him. He loves to sing. And we supposed to go to KBox the week that he left. Since that day, my friends and I, didn't go to the KBox, will go later. Not now. Still mourning. And still miss him.

I also said a pretty goodbye to my Mr Anime many years before. Taugh myself to forget him. And ignore the feeling I feel inside. Until I realized, I miss you so much Mr Anime.😭

I really want to sleep now. And, good night wish is the soft goodbye at the night. So Good night everyone. Have a good sleep. 😘

Msg. Sleep tight

RULE # 4

Rule 4: "The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best."

I've been thinking about it all over the weeks. And I can't lie, I still wondering if I have to tell somebody or not.

The secrets keep coming and coming. I'm not the best person  to keep it! Trust me.

But when other told me their secret. Then I have to remain it silent. 

And when I heard another secret this morning, I felt like, Dinozzo? or McGee? or Abby? Yes, was watching The Gibbs dan kawan kawan nya. ANDDDDDD, I recalled the rules!.

Rule number 4; The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best.

Then, I feellllll so good. Secret is secret, keep it to self. Kalau sedunia tau that story, then that's not a secret.. Kemonnnnnn!.. Itu telenovela. HAHAHA

Anyways, have a nice day Gibbs, and readers.

Cherio.

msg ~ don't worry, your secrets safe with me. 

Happy New Year In Early Spring Season.

OKOK fine. I'm late for few seconds since my first day of 2K16 year, yeahhh Happy New Year everyone!. HAHA

I should write more post with more memorial story, my work, my cats, my sibling, my family, my ministry, my friends, my holiday, my dayysss. Sebabnya, bila sya berumur 75tahun, rasanya sya cuma mahu rakam video jak, malas dah tulis atau taip ni. HAHA, moden ok. So I think I should write more, kisah klasik untuk masa depan!.

Or at least, my great grand kid will say, wow grand nya nenek aku ni. siap tulis blog ntah pape jak aku baca. haha. 

Well, currently, I'm busy doing nothing. Cats. DIY. Bags. Kadazan Costume. And HP. oh, I love HP so much. I'm planning to have a simple vacation with my friends, my families and even travel alone. I love to go out and having experience in other place.  So will be looking forward for this.

Plan untuk tahun ni? Kekal hidup and survive!. Haha. The truth is, I don't even have a wishlist, every year. But yes, I have my lifetime wishlist, and I think it's only 5/100 done. Perghhh, bila lah mahu 100% ni.

Neways, happy new year everyone. See you soon in Seoul! ek!? 

msg. ~ Keep calm and let Gibbs handle it!

as promise...yes

So as promised I had made yesterday, I mean a day before, then I write something here. Now 40minutes after midnight. I try to make a bag, cause someone requested it, and I am super tired. Hoping can finish up the order. And having a great rest on New Year. Pls. Pls.

And my catssssss are on heat, bising ok. Mak beri jantan tak nak. Nakal. Haha.  But yesh, I'm enjoying the sound. Hahaha.

I'm watching the Law & Order S1. Okok lah. But I still love Gibbs so much. Can't wait to watch the most unforgetable episode, since the trailer wrote like that. It's been a few years I've been watched the series, and many times I was crying. Sobsob. I'm in love with Gibbs, I can't lie. Keep the series pls, and don't ever think to replace Dinozzo. Haha.

Msg ~ I have to finish my work. Good morning.

Happy 276th Monthsarry Mr Lawrance

Merry Christmas everybody!

I am in a very good mood. Because it's my favorite month, December, oops, after February.

And because today is December 29th soooooooooooo, its someone birthdayyyyy.

Happy Birthdayyyy Mr Yuki. Have a blast. Wish all your dreams come true. 

May your another year full with love, kindness and blessing.

All the best and have fun.

So you're now, 276th months old, so wish you luck for another monthssssss to come. Stay young and stay "anime"!

.................................

uhm, I've been thinking about few titles for my next post but never had a chance to write one. So I'll be coming back tomorrow, to right something about Gibbs, or Abbs, or McGeeee, or Dinozzo, or Bodeng, or Mimi, or just write something stupid and boring. Well, newayss, see yaaa soon. :) 

msg. i'll start my class very soon.

msgg. i wonder how can i survived this year with my class

msggg. i hope i can handle the class next year, classes actually 

There is...

There is a time that I hate you so much!
Put you in the bottle and leave it on the not-so-nice beach.
End up your light. So no more words from you.

There is a time that I really want to punch your face!
'till it bleeding, and keep bleeding, and bleeding
so you'll never have to be here in this very moment

There is a time when I really want to shout!
How stupid you are, How jerk you really are.
So you'll turn you head to another path, and go away.

There is a time when I badly want to say!
Go to HELL human!. No! You should go now.
So I can hear no more, I can see no more, you!. 

There is a time when I want to pack my stuffs up.
And run away. Run from yourself.
Run from the reality. To be with myself.

YES, I MEAN IT!

But there's always a time that I just keep silent. 
No words, No songs. I just say no sentences. 
I keep everything inside. I keep everything silent.
Remain.
I won't complain. Even for a words. NO.
and I will never complain.
Cause I afraid You'll be walking away from me.
And leave me out of breath.

Cause I have decided to be with you.
And I will never regret it.


msg~ always be my Amano!.

Happy NEW Year!

Guys. It's 2015. Thursday. Morning.
Yes. I'm home, and I don't want doing anything.
It's my off day, and don't ever mess with it. HAHA
I'm in a good mood. Yesh. Good and Lazy.
Yeah, Finally after yearssssssssss. I'm having my good 1st day of the year.
So Happy NEW year everyone!. Have a blast.
And Happy belated birthdayy Yukiteru. 3 days late.
Cause just having a free time now. Sorry.

Year of Revival!
Yesh. Will focus to HIM, my Adonai.

Thanks God for the new year.
Be with me along this year. I badly need YOU, JC!


msg ~ Stick with me my buddies! LURVE yaa

#MH17

I am so sorryyy to hear! Ohmaiii..
"What happen?" ... This is the first thing I've been thinking while I heard about the plane.
I am so sad.
A few minutes after I heard the news,
My friends and I bend on our knees and prey.
It's not a good thing. I dare to tell you!
I was, like, shouting and crying in my pray.
God, forgive us.
It's really hurt. I keep asking, why. Why. Why.
and still I have no answer. Still.

That night, I sent a msg to my dad, told him about what I feel.
After 30 minutes later, he reply my msg.
Wrote: Be strong, God has His own planned for everything that happen.

Thanks dad, you're always have a nice word to speak! Heart you.

But well, still feel sorry about it.

R.I.P beautiful souls.

I've been calling Your name in my pray. And if You are listen to my pray, please answer it.
I beg You, my Alpha and Omega.



Msg ~~ RIP mom Christinah. 
         ~~ happen the next 2 days after the MH17

Happy Wedding's Day EILY

14. June. 2014
Should I start it with, The Vow!.
One of my favourite event-to-attend.
It was a simple simply day for other.
But for them, It might means the whole world.
Eily. Abet. The Mr Right and the Mrs Always Right.
They are my close from my high school.
So it's suppose to be a quick reunion.
Ok, on their wedding' s day


I was driving alone from Sandakan to Beluran just to attend the wedding mass.
With the speed, 140km/h.
A bit late. Yet still worthy.
Even not everyone from the Gang 86 were there but enough for the ladies, Lin, Rynie, Wa-y, Kate and yes the newly bride, Abet.


Their wedding's theme was lime green and blue, just like mine. 😊😊😊😊😊
Simple yet perfect.


I was able to meet long lost friends, 15 years in my count. Even there is tooooooo many social network and messenger, the feeling is still sooo different. Sooo deep. Sooo lost. Soooo "feeling"..


Just a simple talked with the newly couple.
With Abet and Eily.
Should spell the name Ally but since he used to write his name Eily (it was stand for - Everyday I Love You) at school before... Then I prefer Eily.


Ok. It's also an awkward moment,  with the wierd eyes contact, haha. And a wedding wish. Uhm. Now I know how's it feel. Well say...


Anywayysss. Kisah lama tu saya dah lupa dah.. Haha.


Happy wedding's day Mr Eily.



Msg ~ i miss my high school!

The BLAIRE

Hello.
Blaire.
Siapa Blaire?
A.K.A Ms Bodeng C Kitty Purry.
My lovely cat.
Kuat makan.
Nakal.
Gemuk.
Manja melampau.
Garang.
Takut hantu, OK ini tipu.
Bising.
Kuat main.
Super cute.
etc etc etc

My BLAIRE.
Kadang rasa geram melampau bila Blaire lari sana sini, gigit kaki, gigit tangan, gigit muka, cakar sofa, mengiyau tengah malam.
Tapi bila berjauhan, boleh nangis teringat Blaire, sudah makan ka belum, tidur dalam rumah atau luar rumah (since I used to let my cat sleep with me in the bedroom), sudah mandi ka belum, boleh ka orang tahan dengan perangai nya yang menyakitkan hati. uhmmmm...

I love my cat. Biar tidak se"PARSI" dan se"GARFIELD" kucing lain, tapi I still love my cat. Still remember the first time I met Blaire, I won't step on into the car until I get the cat. I invited her into my life, loving and caring. Now Blaire becomes one of my precious thing in my life.

So, for those whom never meet Blaire personally. Let me introduce you, the BLAIRE :-

 Malu-malu 

ok, nakal

I love the ♥ symbol on her nose!!!

msg ~~ Teringat bila Blaire terjun daring tingkat 2 ... :(