#MoveOn

Hello semua.

Berminggu tanpa blog, rasanya cuma saya seorang saja yang rindu blog ni, dan baca blog ni. HAHA. Well, 1st at all, saya rasa mahu cerita pasal saya yang involved dalam accident last June. I'm ok now, tulang patah bahagian pinggul, tapiiii masih hidup. Dan cuma sebulan rest, saya start back the track, running and dancing. Workaholic! Seperti biasa, dan Move On.

Hidup mesti diteruskan. Peringatan kepada diri sendiri. I will be fine without him in one fine day, soon or later. Cherio MR. S. You deserve better, and you find it. Maybe this is the last post about you, or us. Honestly, you are the best thing happen in my life. I loved you, yes. But thing doesn't happen as we want. The love doesn't strong enough to us. And I glad, when I can see you in  eyes, and say "Hi Simon" without deeply hurt in my heart. One Day. I know. One Day. 

Kadang rasa terkilan, tapi sudah terbiasa. I will miss you. I will. But it means nothing. Thanks for everything. Thanks kerana pernah muncul dan menyayangi diri ini. And to move on without you, is never easy, but I try hard. Don't worry. I will be fine.

Thanks SMern.

Msg ~ Sekuat kaki melangkah, sekuat hati bertahan.

the tiny line

Because between letting go and holding on, there's a tiny line that call LOVE. I can't let go without Love, I can't hold on without Love. I don't even can move on without Love. But 10 years will getting hard, hardly hard. When I found Love in the wrong place. When I even begged for it. When I loose my first love. And when I was tooooo focus becoming "me". And sometimes I forgot the rest that stand by my side, to comfort and LOVE me unconditionally along the journey. I might be drained. I might away, running away from the reality. I might be empty very soon. I might leave everyone that stand by me on the path that I walk by. I might fight a wrong war. But sometime, letting go is the best medicine for forgiveness. Me myself will loose the simple game, but will the win the lifetime lesson. And until these very day, 10 years exact to the day he left, yes, I choose to LOVE, cause if I have LOVE, I have everything, I can forgive, I can letting go, and I can holding on. It's not easy, it's never be easy. But you will find the TINY LINE between it. And if you don't find it, find the courage in JESUS. HE is LOVE.

Karla Andrea's Story

It actually took so much courage to post this...
But for the past 7 years & 7 months, people witnessed the love story that was Gio & Karla. ☺

For almost 8 years, I've only loved one person. He loved me since we were 14 but it took me 2 years to realize that I love him too.

We did a lot of things together. From sneaking out during highschool & lying to our parents that we have to do projects after school so that Gio & I can go to mall -- with only 300 pesos that we saved up from our school allowance. We'd eat in food courts & share one iced tea. But it didn't matter actually because we were happy.

Until we've reached college and we had to go to different schools. But I was very confident that we'd survive it... because we love each other. And we actually did. 😊 He was one of my motivations to finish school. Because I want a bright future with him. He would pick me up in school, he would help me with my projects, he would take me out to eat after a hectic day. He was all I see as I march during my graduation. And I can finally say, we made it. ☺

Months have passed & we both got employed. This was the time that we were able to do a lot of things. 300 peso pocket money became thousands, food courts became fancy restaurants, window shopping became real shopping, jeepneys became taxi, malls became out of town & even out of the country. He was there when my dad passed away. I was there for him when his mom passed away too. Through happiness & pain, we got each other's back.
I experienced a lot of things because of him. Because he was there. He'd do everything to make me happy.

We were the ideal couple. We do everything together. I can't even see myself loving somebody else. Because I already found my soulmate when I was still in St. John's Academy's green jumper, my black leather shoes with white socks & my backpack. My future was him. He was the person I want to see at the end of the altar.

I loved the relationship we had.
But it has come to an end.

To Gio, to the love of my life. To my constant companion, travel buddy, my shock absorber, the answer to my every whys. We've reached the end of the tunnel and it's time to part ways.
Thank you for holding my hand during the journey. It was a worth while journey. A journey i will forever treasure in my heart.
I sincerely pray for your happiness, even if that happiness doesn't include me anymore. ☺ I hope you reach your dreams. I may not be able to witness it anymore, but know that I will be cheering you from afar. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to love again. And I do too. I don't regret ever loving you. Loving you was one of the best decisions I've ever made. One day, I know we'll cross paths again. One day I can look at you in the eyes & I won't feel hurt anymore. One day, we'll talk about how much we've loved each other and that helped us love another person. You will always have a special place in my heart. And let's believe in love again. It's okay. We will be okay. One day i believe we can be friends again.

To my family, mom & ate, my friends, you know who you are. THANK YOU. I wouldn't be able to survive this if you guys are not there to pick up the pieces.

To those who believed in us salamat. But this is going to be my last post about Gio. About us.

To moving forward. :)

© Karla Andrea



Msg: i feel you dear
Msgg: I move on too
Msggg: best ever things happen in my life
Msgggg: keep going on
Msggggg: love is on the air
Msgggggg: i love my husband now

I'm Drained

It's been 3 years, 7 months, 21 days since my  marriage day. Yes, I'm Survived :).

Thanks GOD for the moments. It's not easy, especially when people asked about Baby.

Honestly, I really want a baby. Pls GOD. Will you?

When people said, like this and that. Eat this medicine and that herbs. Go to that hospital and bla bla bla. Lost your weight so whatsoeva! They don't even ask about my feeling. I don't even eat my food for few days, cause I worried I'll get some fat! Took a lot of medicines. Reviews. And I don't lie when I said, I cried everytime I back from hospital. Trust me, It's not easy. 

It's not easy when you cried yourself to sleep alone everynight.

It's not easy when you watch your friend's kids running around.

It's not easy.

Now, I'm getting drain. Slowly. And slowly. 

msg. I might be empty soon

msgg. I might be alone forever.

msggg. I'm drained.

Happy New Season, Ivy

It's March already Ivy!!

It's time to move on. Banyak hal yang jadi beberapa bulan ni, aku move on, dia move on, mereka move on, si dia move on, jiran sebelah move on, kucing aku move on. Well, semua move on. 

But, bila fikir balik, Am I really move on? Bila dengar lagu Nickelback, If Today Was Your Last Day!.

Pejam mata, esok tidak mungkin akan bangun lagi. Am I forgiving now?

I want to mention someone name here, Tressie from LD. I said a very bad thing to her many years before. I don't even want to apologize, cause I thought 'this is her fault'. Dan sebab ego aku tinggi menggunung, I let the anger stay inside, until last week. Aku kumpul semua kekuatan manusia aku, damn!, I failed. So I asked God for the strength, and I sent a msg to her, told her that I'm sorry. For me, it's a big step. I cried, loudly. I won't live with anger in my heart. The hatred! The painful! The unwanted feeling!

I start to make a new step for a new path. God have mercy on me!

So, I will come back soon. I promise.